What is the 40-70 Rule for Aging Parents?

A woman is laughing with her elderly father on a couch

The 40-70 rule for aging parents is a guideline for adult children to manage care and support as their parents age. It suggests that children typically spend 40% of their time providing direct support, 70% of their time overseeing care and planning for their parents’ needs, and the remainder managing their own lives.


This rule emphasizes balancing involvement without overextending yourself. It encourages families to:


  • Assess needs: Determine your parents’ physical, emotional, and medical requirements.
  • Plan care: Coordinate medical appointments, daily support, and long-term plans.
  • Maintain independence: Support parents while promoting autonomy and dignity.


Following the 40-70 rule can reduce stress and ensure your parents receive consistent, thoughtful care. It also helps adult children avoid burnout by setting realistic boundaries and sharing responsibilities with siblings or professional caregivers.


When considering senior living options, including assisted living or memory care, the 40-70 rule can guide decisions about how much care to provide personally versus professionally. Communities like Heisinger Bluffs offer structured support while respecting independence.


Frequently Asked Questions

  • Who should use the 40-70 rule?

    Adult children managing aging parents’ care.

  • Can the percentages change?

    Yes, adjust based on your parent’s health and needs.

  • Does it replace professional care?

    No, it complements caregiving planning, not replaces it.


Sources:

  • https://alzheimersprevention.org/4070-rule-intergenerational-conversations/
  • https://www.caregiverresource.net/uploads/files/articles/The_40-70_Rule_Conversation_Guide.pdf
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